The One Resolution

I’m making one New Years resolution and I am asking for your assistance.

It’s not about a flatter belly or ditching the baby weight, or exercise.

It’s not about “me time” or reading a book a week or perfecting my posture or reaching spiritual enlightenment.

This year, and for the rest of my existence, I resolve, as a woman, person, and most importantly, as a parent to

Yell less and hug more.

I need accountability. I need to believe that I can do this. Again. And again.

I need to be reminded that my children are children. Not just children. Children. Their hearts and minds are born of dreams I cannot fathom. Within their corner of the world, they have imagined a reality that is beyond brilliant. Their spectrum glistens with possibility.

Everyday, without meaning to, my world slowly kills theirs. My reality infiltrates the brilliance. I remind them not to do. Sit down. Be quiet. STOP IT!

And I shout.

I raise my voice and I watch my words, my tone, my cadence chip away at their virtuosity. 

Diminishing. Extinguishing.

I have shouted to such a degree that I’ve seen my daughter’s eyes bug and her lip quiver. My gravelly shrill screams have induced spontaneous tears in multiple children at once. 

How can I sit confounded at my children’s propensity to scream at each other? They do it to get attention from me. To be heard. When I mutter “demons” under my breath, I must remember that the demons in them are my own. The pathology of their behavior is familial, and it isn’t here to be easy on me. This is my work.

I am the parent. I am here to lift them up, to widen the boundaries, to rid them of "I can’t" in favor of “I can”...“I will”...“I do”...“I did!” I am meant to inspire. 

There will come a time when they no longer launch into my arms at every opportunity. They will stop wanting me to hold them, fighting for a place on my lap. I mustn't squander these moments. 

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

Smiles.

I am not a perfect person or a perfect parent. But I believe that I am the perfect parent for my children. We are divinely matched to do amazing things. Today, this is my work. I've done a lot of different work in my life, and I'm certain that this is the very best kind.

Fortunately, my colleagues are adorable.

I appreciate your support.

Happy New Year.