the birthday issue - an opportunity to gloat, wonder and hope

Seven weeks ago i began my 4th decade of life. yup, 30 long/short years. of course it makes me think about lots of things. 30 things, in fact.

First, 10 great accomplishments:

1) Life. I've managed to live through 30 years (credits to mom, dad, gen, mads)
2) Love. I married a wonderful man...
3) Children...then gave birth to two beautiful children who weighed 8lb14oz and 8lb15oz respectively with no medical intervention (thank you DHMC and FAHC midwives!)
4) Vocation. I acquired two graduate degrees, and am now a member of the most honorable profession of nursing
5) Persistence. I ran in the VT City Marathon this past May (ok, so I only ran a 5.8 mile relay leg, but still, my first race ever AND i was just 4 months post-partum).
6) Yeast. I can bake bread. many varieties.
7) Sportsmanship. I'm cool with losing to phil when we play scrabble. trust me, this is a serious accomplishment.
8) Literacy. I know how to read music
9) Contributing. I recently became a sustaining member of VPR
10) Generosity. I'm knitting hats for everyone!

Next, 10 great aspirations:

1) Educate. I want to teach my children to love music and to play the violin
2) Create. As in a cohesive/publishable work of poetry
3) Persist. I'm training to run the 1/2 marathon portion of the VT City Marathon next May
4) Sisterhood. I'm ready to reconnect with my sisters, so i can know them. really f****n' know them, and finally cut that album with them, the one where we pay homage to Motown, gen gets her barry white on, and i finally live out my fantasy of being smokey robinson)
5) Travel. I'm planning to take a vacation with my husband. as in go to a place where our children are not where we sleep/eat/drink/dance/explore
6) Complete. I've got my sights on finishing a Boston Sunday Globe crossword puzzle (well, maybe actually just reading a Boston Sunday Globe).
7) Extension. My needles, that is, so that I can get better at cable knitting.
8) I just want to learn to sew, so that one day i might be able to assume the perrinez family legacy of quilting (ruth, i'm going to need your help, a lot of help)
9) Comedy. Let's just say I'm looking to perfect my joke delivery
10) Juggling. I'm committed to keeping my babies/husband/house/job up in the air, never dropping a thing long enough to lose it.

Finally, 10 great blessings:

1) Hair. My mother always said i was blessed with great hair. it's a little frizzy at times, but she was pretty much right
2) Employment. As in, i'm employed!
3) Helpers. I have a list of qualified friends/coworkers all willing to double as babysitters
4) Continence. While he's not officially potty-trained yet, i'm finally seeing the light at the end of the long diaper-filled tunnel of cleveland's bladder and bowel habits. when can we start with lucie?
5) Health. Here we are so fortunate. All of cleveland's concerns are now more idiosyncratic than genuine health risks, and lucie's greatest health concern is her hyperverbalism, which i'm quite certain she inherited from me.
6) Wealth. We're blessed with exactly enough, which i believe is exactly as it should be. We pay our debts, our house is warm, the babies' bellies are full, and we can (usually) get our cars started.
7) Cleveland Robert Perrinez. You remind me daily of the joyous world that surrounds us. you laugh at finger puppets and play dough and you dance to david bowie like you've met the guy (have you?)
8) Lucienne St. Germain Perrinez. You remain the biggest bean of all the beans, and you're a crazy beautiful baby and i'm so glad i'm your mama. your cooing and giggling and babbling get me through the day, not to mention many long car trips.
9) Phillip Robert Perrinez. You haven't only given me strength, but you've been patient enough to be a window into which i have found my own strength. you're already to best doctor i know, and you'll make a fabulous orthopedist/radiologist/wicked smaht MD one day.
10) Today. It's Wednesday and today i'm finally getting over being chronically and persistently afraid of things I don't know. And i'm suddenly optimistic about learning how to do/see/experience some of those things. I guess that's called growing. And, when it's done right, shouldn't growing be synonymous with aging? hmm...

i hope you like your hat...

things can be pretty crazy

recently there has been a lot of whining at the st. perrinez household. and just a touch of assault and battery:

observe cleveland and lucie as they play in parallel.



lucie touches any toy.



cleveland attacks lucie for touching toy.



lucie takes attack in stride and fights back with a double fist hair/ear grip.



cleveland sulks off but returns renewed and with a new toy for lucie.



lucie feigns interest just long enough to give cleveland false sense of security, then lucie moves in for the kill.



cleveland says 'no, no, NO!'



repeat. repeat. repeat. only stop for diapers, naps, and snacks.

it makes a mother wonder, will they ever be sweet?

**********flash forward************

we were driving home last weekend, and after lots of whining things were suddenly quiet in the back seat. suspiciously quiet. and that's when i turned around to see this:



be still, my heart...

if you're grumpy and you know it...

...refuse to eat

...say 'no' to everything

...refuse to sit while eating

...face the wall

...whine a lot

...refuse to eat anything but lucie's mum mums

...refuse to sit in car seat

...kick your mom

...whine some more

...sit on your sister

...flip your s*** for no reason except that...

You're TWO, and two truly is terrible.